Changes!

I’ve been thinking hell of a lot recently about things which is not like me what so ever. I usually just get on with it and think ‘Fuck the consequences!’ and do whatever it is that is risky!!

 

Only thing I don’t have to think about is my relationship with my boyfriend because everything is perfect. Ok, I've been a bit snappy at him but apologise after even if he doesn’t realise what I am saying sorry about. 7 months in 21days and counting!! :)  I am a real lucky girl to have him! Love him to pieces!! :)

 

The reason I have been snappy the past few weeks is lack of sleep, I am guessing. Not going to sleep till 4 or 5 am then being up at about 7am isn’t good. Specially whist you are filming!! No good what so ever!! I feel quite bad because that day i just snapped at the group and I am sorry guys then went into my own little world were things were perfect and no one was there pissing me off or telling me to do things even when they have their own hands that are fully functional.

 

This world of mine is weird because I just seem to zone out from reality and not realise where I have gone. It’s not like I have a nice little house or anything there its just a place that is quite. There is no image in my mind of the place when I am not there or even when I am. Some people keep things like this a secret so others don’t think they are freaks/loons etc… But I’m not telling you the thoughts that gone on during these moments as they are secret and belong to me and the inner workings of my brain.

I really do not understand this but i go to that place at some point everyday. It’s mainly when I’m feeling low and don’t know what to do with myself. I used to write stories linking with what goes on in my mind but for some reason I have lost all motivation to write anything from them. Although I think it would be for the best to start again as it gives me chance to let go of the feelings i feel.

 

This might not make sense to you but it does to me!! :)